Middle Distance Chronicles

Within the past year, I thought that I'd began to embrace the 800m run. I've come to realize that I've been mistaken. I've just embraced getting my ass kicked in it

Over

And over...

And over.

Today's workout made me have that revelation. The scene was straight out of a "Rocky" movie. Eight half-mile runs needed to be completed. Beads of sweat rolling down my face, back, and neck. The sky was a treacherous gray as the river splashed violently against the rocks. As soon as I was about to start the next set, gusts of wind and rain whip and dash around me, stinging my eyes and tugging me into all different kinds of directions. I thought as soon as the wind picked up, I'd go flying away with it.

It was that serious.

The run was difficult. Coach pedaled next to me on his bike as he acted like a time-marker. Ever so often he'd tell me to "pick up the pace" or "relax" or something to fix my form. The pressure was on and I had about 3 more to go. Negative thoughts start flooding in. I grit my teeth. This is what it feels like to get your ass kicked at practice.

I was on the verge of tears, but what would crying do? I'd just be choked up during it all and probably mess up the workout or worst, have to do it over. Save the tears for later. Instead, I had to say a prayer to get me through it. I'd never assumed that it would be easy, but I definitely started to feel it when I really didn't want to. I just wanted to stop. But, my goals were blinding me. Rio 2016 Olympics. It's within reach and all I have to do is strive for it. So, as much as it hurt, I finished. Eight half-miles with 90 seconds rest in between. Wow.

I then began to figure out what kind of runner I was. I push myself, really really hard, but only when I know I'm coming towards the end. I'm a "negative" runner. I run slow at first then come back blazing at the end. That's how I was taught. That's where my kick came from. Now, I have to change that to a more speedy beginning. Also, I'm a very weak mental runner. My coach made a remark, "Either I'm your biggest supporter or you're you biggest doubter." I'm my worst enemy. That has to change.

There's a lot of work to be done. In three weeks, I'll have to complete this same workout. I hoping that it won't be in the same conditions as this one. I also hope that I could look back and say to myself , "Well that wasn't so hard." Ultimately, I'm hoping for the mental confidence to step on that line for indoor, and prove what running in the midst of a tornado can do. Because without that, I am nothing.