Yes I watch it, shoot me. It's a notorious semi-guilty pleasure of mine.
Anyway, after watching Kirk commit the foulest sin against his wife, I couldn't help but to be fiercely appalled.
I don't get it.
Men like him want to live this "lavish" life of females, money, mansions, jacuzzis, cars, motorcycles, etc no matter what the circumstance (In this case, while already being committed to a 15-year marriage and expecting a child). This feels like it makes it okay to dog women just because you're facing some tough times and have lost your mojo.Then to perpetuate this lifestyle to young boys of 17-20, making them idolize and follow his foul ways all the way through their 40's and beyond is crude. How long do you want to live the bachelor life? Men could have their cake and eat it too while women are battling for the scraps.
I want to do a side by side comparison of Kirk from Love and Hiphop and Judith from Tyler Perry's "Temptation." Both cheated on their spouses which was equally wrong, but the consequences both suffered were different. Both felt dead in their current relationships causing them to cheat. However, Kirk's actions were glorified by many while Judith was plagued with a life threatening disease and bashed by her viewers. Many people looked at Kirk and thought "TURN UP", while others looked at Judith and said "All that glitters isn't gold" and harped on how ungrateful she was. This kind of display forces women into silence and pressures women to stay in an unhappy marriage because once she strays, it leads her to eternal damnation.
At a certain point, Rasheeda (Kirk's wife) and Judith share the same sorrow even though their actions were different. Rasheeda is currently viewed as the vulnerable, pregnant wife who was just embarrassed by her husband's more-than-open display of infidelity. Judith who was neglected by her oblivious husband, which leads her to cheating, suffered being infected with HIV. Although "Tempation" was fictional, it perpetuates this idea that there is no way out for Black women. It's either be faithful and be wronged by loved ones or try to stray away and get pulled down deeper than before. Contemporary media and pop culture is immobilizing us.
We're evolving into an era where it's getting easier and easier to disrespect women by means of social media. It's like women can't say, feel, think, or be something without a meme being released that says "Bitches be like *insert degrading phrase here*" It's either that or having our imperfections blown up in our faces time and time again. Reality TV has done its share of marring the images of Black women and folks on "black twitter" are ready to shame their every move. We've turned against each other. Too often I'd see these pictures of these black faces labeled "Bitches" come from the same black faces. I've seen black males do it with ease and the females to follow. We're belittling ourselves and squandering our crowns. The war on women is real and social media makes it no better.
It's hard trying to stand up straight in a crooked room. It's hard to feel like my society looks at me with a Funhouse mirror and no matter which way I twist and turn, I'll always be mocked. After watching this show, if we continue to have black women viewed in this way, no one will ever take us seriously. No one will ever respect us. No one will ever really SEE us. We will be the counterpart of Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man". We'll be a league of Invisible Women. Screaming, shouting, angry, scorned, scarred.
Invisible.
