Last Time On Love and Hiphop ATL...

Yes I watch it, shoot me. It's a notorious semi-guilty pleasure of mine.

Anyway, after watching Kirk commit the foulest sin against his wife, I couldn't help but to be fiercely appalled.


I don't get it.

Men like him want to live this "lavish" life of females, money, mansions, jacuzzis, cars, motorcycles, etc no matter what the circumstance (In this case, while already being committed to a 15-year marriage and expecting a child). This feels like it makes it okay to dog women just because you're facing some tough times and have lost your mojo.Then to perpetuate this lifestyle to young boys of 17-20, making them idolize and follow his foul ways all the way through their 40's and beyond is crude. How long do you want to live the bachelor life? Men could have their cake and eat it too while women are battling for the scraps.

I want to do a side by side comparison of Kirk from Love and Hiphop and Judith from Tyler Perry's "Temptation." Both cheated on their spouses which was equally wrong, but the consequences both suffered were different. Both felt dead in their current relationships causing them to cheat. However, Kirk's actions were glorified by many while Judith was plagued with a life threatening disease and bashed by her viewers. Many people looked at Kirk and thought "TURN UP", while others looked at Judith and said "All that glitters isn't gold" and harped on how ungrateful she was. This kind of display forces women into silence and pressures women to stay in an unhappy marriage because once she strays, it leads her to eternal damnation.

At a certain point, Rasheeda (Kirk's wife) and Judith share the same sorrow even though their actions were different. Rasheeda is currently viewed as the vulnerable, pregnant wife who was just embarrassed by her husband's more-than-open display of infidelity. Judith who was neglected by her oblivious husband, which leads her to cheating, suffered being infected with HIV. Although "Tempation" was fictional, it perpetuates this idea that there is no way out for Black women. It's either be faithful and be wronged by loved ones or try to stray away and get pulled down deeper than before. Contemporary media and pop culture is immobilizing us.

We're evolving into an era where it's getting easier and easier to disrespect women by means of social media. It's like women can't say, feel, think, or be something without a meme being released that says "Bitches be like *insert degrading phrase here*" It's either that or having our imperfections blown up in our faces time and time again. Reality TV has done its share of marring the images of Black women and folks on "black twitter" are ready to shame their every move. We've turned against each other. Too often I'd see these pictures of these black faces labeled "Bitches" come from the same black faces. I've seen black males do it with ease and the females to follow. We're belittling ourselves and squandering our crowns. The war on women is real and social media makes it no better.

It's hard trying to stand up straight in a crooked room. It's hard to feel like my society looks at me with a Funhouse mirror and no matter which way I twist and turn, I'll always be mocked. After watching this show, if we continue to have black women viewed in this way, no one will ever take us seriously. No one will ever respect us. No one will ever really SEE us. We will be the counterpart of Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man". We'll be a league of Invisible Women. Screaming, shouting, angry, scorned, scarred.

Invisible.

Started From the Bottom Now We... Where?

I'm sure most of us have heard Drake's song "Started From the Bottom." If you haven't, all you need to hear to get the basic sentiments of the song are the first couple of lines:

"Started from the bottom now we here
Started from the bottom now the whole team f-ckin here..."

Now, obviously this song was meant for Drake to reaffirm his status in his career, "here" most likely meaning its height. What puzzles me is everyone's reception and recycling of the phrase. Every so often, I'd see a plethora of pictures on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram with people at clubs, parties, or other normal settings with "started from the bottom no we here" in the caption. At that point I think to myself, where's "here"?
I understand "here" is relative for everyone so there will be varied perceptions of where "here" is, but we need to look at the bigger picture.

As far as we and "here" are concerned, we are mostly still in the hood, we are still a minority, we are still major victims of gun violence, we are still being racially profiled and discriminated against in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, we are still struggling up the corporate ladder, we are still rooted in an educational system that is failing our children especially in Philly and other urban youth...

From the looks of it, we are still at the bottom, maybe a ring or two up the ladder, but still far from the top.

Drake's "here", as well as many other artists', seems to be centered around money, cars, clothes, lovers, etc. By all means, if having these things make you feel like you're at the top, so be it. However, don't be fooled by the notion that having pretty-looking things or living an over-the-top lifestyle means you've made it. Too many people have bought into this without realizing that  being "hood rich" makes you perpetually poor.

My highschool teacher told me "No matter what point you reach in your life, never feel like you've already arrived." There's always work to do. Although we've seen some positive, incremental changes, as a whole, there's little progress.

At this rate, will we ever make it to "here"? To the top? Will we ever just destroy the whole hierarchy of who's at the bottom or top all together? Maybe not. As long as there are people who are striving to advance, there will always be people getting stepped on in that process. Human nature.

I don't expect everyone to have the same aspirations. I don't expect us to not want/have those nice things at one point. But there are so much of us stuck at the bottom while many are swallowed up in materialism thinking that puts them on top.

So instead of taking pictures in fancy clubs and clothes, just think: As a people, as a "team", are we really "here" yet?

Serendipity

These last couple of weeks, I've been feeling like my life has shifted a gear and now I'm speeding right through it. So many things have happened and I've met so many people in such little time. I like this. It is a bit stressful but it just feels so wrong to be stagnant. I've been obsessing over two major projects I want to get started here at Penn and trying to get things started on my own. In the midst of all of this, I realized a deep rooted passion in offering my aid and service to people in anyway possible. It's riveting. I literally feel a rush in my veins when I talk about making a difference in my immediate community. So, in addition to my projects, I decided to create a natural hair blog to act as a reservoir of black women in their most beautiful form. I want it to be a platform for us to express ourselves. We're growing and expanding. We may not be the majority just yet, but it's a step in the right direction. I'm deeply captivated by the beauty of Black women and honestly, a bit biased to natural hair. Ever since starting my journey nine months ago, it was bound to happen.  

I'm so happy I didn't let my initial fears stop me. I kept worrying about its success and how different it may not be from others. Thank God I didn't let that stop me. I enjoy giving people the opportunity celebrate themselves. We all need to be uplifted by each other without question from time to time 

While leaving my exam for work yesterday, I was approached by a man who turned out to be a veteran and also a photographer. To my surprise, he asked if he could take pictures of my natural hair because, like me, he appreciates the radiance of natural haired women. Needless to say I was elated and agreed. It's just so funny how perfectly timed this was. Thanks to him, I've thought about more ways to celebrate natural haired women (and thought more deeply about pursuing modeling ;)). 

These last few weeks have presented me with so much. I've learned not to question why things happen and to sort of accept it for what it is. I've listened to my instincts and been more in tune with my body. I've put fear behind me. I've been painfully nostalgic but extremely driven too. I can't even complain about the stress because the feeling of fulfillment exceeds that. These are the first few nights I've stayed up past four o'clock because I'm passionate about something (those who know me know my love for sleep so this is a big deal!). 

So I know this is an old and tired saying but it deserves to be said: do what you're passionate about! No amount of money will ever compare to the feeling you get of doing what you love

Careless

"You fill me" "with" "a yellow" "delight"

"Cordial blues", " &antsy greens"

"Delicious sunshine" "leaking" "from your palms"

"My aura" "laps" "it up" 

"Licking" "the pearly pinks" "& the" "precious purples"

"We wrote our love notes" "on clouds"

"They hung" "in the air" "then floated away"

"So" "we wrote new ones" "in the stars" 

"&we" "laid together in" "grass heaps"

"Purring at the moon"

I'm Doing Summer Vlogs!

Thought I'd try something different to see how creative I could get. Trying to keep it to a "June challenge" kind of thing but I'll go where ever the spirit takes me. My prof told me that poetry comes in all kinds of forms. Video shall be a new form for moi. 

YouTube: Shakeleseaton 

Happy vloggin'

What I learned as a Sophomore

1) We're the most neglected class

After our first year as freshmen, everyone's ready to push us right off the tree even if we're not quite ready to fly. Advisers are tired of having to hold our hands through every class, meeting, activity, study session, mini-meltdown, etc. They need to focus on the sea of new freshmen flooding their offices and the seniors on their way out. After prepping us for a full year, we should be "ready" to independently embark on our college journey. It may be unintentional, but it still happens.Cold world. Bring a blanket.

2) Declaring a major is no joke

If you don't have the faintest idea of what degree you want to graduate with by sophomore year, get it together. And fast.

3) Dealing with new freshmen is... 

A little off-setting at first. Like I said before, basically everyone on campus is running around, making sure the little freshies are taken care of. It's cool at first because we all saw it coming. But still. Having that attention almost completely stripped away sophomore year is a HUGE wake up call. Everyone expects you to have it all together by now. "You mean to tell me you can't show ME where the science building is?" Figure it out.

WARNING: Do not resent the freshmen! (It has happened, believe me) Take it easy on them. They're just starting out and need the extra attention. Some may try to run before they can walk but you just have to let them be for a while.

4) You see people for who they really are

After unwrapping our friends from their shiny, glistening packages and finally taking off our campus goggles,  we start to see smiles fading and some not-so-nice personalities. Friends who we partied with every weekend freshman year turn into someone we spurt a hurried "hi!" to, while we rush off to class. Some grow distant. Others become close friends. Some people couple up and forget about you. Some couple up and include you in everything. Or some people just change. It happens. Be prepared.

5) A lot of things fall apart and get put back together

For many, Sophomore year seemed to be the time where every single bad thing started happening. Whether it be grades, family, friends, sports and the like, EVERYTHING went wrong at the same time. Many times I found myself flailing my arms around, ready to pull out my hair and just kept asking "Why?" It all seemed to come back to back. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. Just when I thought I couldn't catch a break, I finally did. The clouds part and out comes Mister Golden Sun. Nothing lasts forever. Not even the hard times. Keep on keepin' on my friend.

6) Parties get better

I promise

7) You walk away waaay more mature than you did freshman year

After getting a full year of ups and downs, you realize that it's normal for everything to not be okay .When someone asks you "How's school?", instead of the expected "Great!", you can now admit to the trials and battles you endured within the past year and how well you handled each. No one is always smooth sailing and no student's journey is perfectly unmarked by mishaps. You just have to realize it was another step towards personal growth and acceptance.

Power of Spontaneity

As classes are winding down for some, summer classes are in full swing over here at Penn. It's so different. Even Locust walk sounds different and I never thought I'd see a day when the beautiful red brick road would be so silently trotted. No hustling and bustling. No shuffling and twisting. There aren't even any flyer people for me to avoid by me "suddenly" pulling out my phone or hiding behind the person in front of me (guilty!). Everyone has crept into their little holes that they're subletting in and barely anything causes a stir. 

With summer approaching, the meaning of the word "chill" becomes literal. The blazing sun makes everyone too hot to do anything but sit around and stare at the tv. I find myself stuck on the conveyor belt. "Let's chill" And we do nothing but eat and sit and breathe. 

It wasn't until a couple of days ago that I realized there's more to it than just keeping each other's company. When I made the proposition to chill, I was met with a (hilarious) game of badminton, frisbee, and racing. The most physical "chill" session I've had in a while. It was so nice to shake things up a bit. We eventually retreated back to the room to relax and watch a movie, but I had some fun. I laughed. I played. I flung. I made really wierd sound effects. It was different.

How coincidental that we watched "Good Deeds". The message I got from it was this: Be spontaneous! Embrace the impromptu and make it fun. Be silly. Not everything has to be structured all of the time. Most importantly, embrace those who encourage the unpredictable side to you. It may come off as scary at first, but it's the part of your being that houses excitement. Don't worry much about order. Be chaotic! Shake things up. Give your self a daily dose of 20-second insanity. You won't regret it (keep it safe and legal though!).

Because when you look back at your life 30 years from now, you'll be more disappointed in the things you didn't do than the crazy ass things you did do.