The Bad and The Ugly

It's really hard accepting yourself for who you really are. Of course I'm not talking about the good parts. I mean the ugly, the flawed, the cruel parts of you. The parts of you that you neglect to take into account when someone points them out. The very ignorant parts. The parts of you that are almost inhumane, deplorable. The parts of you that tie you to the most disgusting people you've heard of. You're almost in shock when you realize this is who you are. Or at least who you've become.

There are those who flee, within good reason, as soon as they are exposed to this side of you. They push you aside, and find someone who can be kind and loving all of the time. But as it was said before, it's understandable. Why surround yourself with someone who is so ugly? It's only natural to want to gravitate away from them.

Then, surprisingly, there are those who choose to stay. Those who are tortured relentlessly because of that choice. Those who endure it. Those who still love you even though you don't deserve it.

Somehow, they see the changes you can make. They see the potential of a beautiful person behind all of the screw ups and mistakes. They see your honest effort. They may correct or criticize you. You may unconsciously try to push them away, but they still stay.  At that point, it's not your place to ask why this person is there. You just accept them. You become utterly thankful for them. They somehow teach you to forgive yourself. They teach you to love yourself. That's the most important gift anyone person can give to another. Those are the people you hold close to your heart forever.

So you come to terms with yourself, just as they have. You realize that sometimes, you're very rough around the edges. You acknowledge that you've made a conscious decision to tame this uglier side of you and realize that it may not fully go away. Yet, the fact that someone else can love you just as you are is proof that you can love yourself the very same.